It's a.......GIRL!!!

Shaylyn Kennedy Johansen was born August 7th, 2012 at 3:55pm!

6 pounds 15 ounces

21.5 inches long

Oh boy is there a lot to write about between the hours of 1:00am August 6th and 3:55pm August 7th! Not to mention the minutes, hours, days, and now weeks that have gone by since then!!

Chad and I plan to sit down and write out her birth story sometime soon but we just haven't got the chance to do it yet. Actually, that's kind of a lie. We have probably had the chance to do it, but it's such an emotional thing for us to think about that we've been putting it off. Because I was in labor for so long and so much happened during that time and then after she was born, there were holes in both our stories of things that went on and what we each experienced. We sat down for about an hour one morning when we were still in the hospital and talked through everything that happened. I don't remember the last time I cried that hard. Especially for it being deliriously happy and sad tears at the same time. Anyway, it's important to me that we write it down when it's still "fresh" so we can remember everything and look back on it down the road. I think it will also be pretty cool for Shaylyn to hear some day too. Hear about how dramatic she was even when she came into the world and maybe if she hears how rough she was on her parents during those first few minutes/hours/days, she'll ease up on us during the teenage years. What do you mean it doesn't work like that? :)

She is such a healthy and happy 2 week old now. And we think she's pretty perfect. Our hearts are completely full having her a part of our lives. We love you so much Shaylyn Kennedy Johansen!!!

xo,
Shaylyn's Mommy

p.s. I just re-read my last post I put on here at 10pm August 5th. Although I didn't know it (even then) but I actually started early labor just 3 hours later. Haha!! Life is funny, huh? :)

33 weeks - Kicks and Hiccups

33 weeks!

(June 17th)

I realize I'm a first timer and this is the only pregnancy I've ever known, but since the beginning I've felt like baby is SUPER active. Ever since I felt the first flutter at 16 weeks....this kid has. not. stopped. Chad felt the first movement on the outside the week after that (or maybe week 18?) and even he has probably felt something every day since then. I'm starting to get a little nervous about what that may mean for our little nug once he (boy today) is out in this world. Will he ever sleep? Will he kick and punch and roll even in his sleep? Will he grow like a weed and never stop moving? Speaking of moving...when he starts walking/crawling, how will I ever keep up? How many grey hairs will he give me in the next year?

Some days already completely wear me out. I usually wake up feeling pretty good in the mornings and have lots of energy until around the end of the work day, about 4pm. By then I'm feeling a little achy from sitting at my desk all day (yes, I do get up and stretch my legs and take breaks) but I still have some energy and I'm usually very excited to get home and change clothes. Or change clothes and go to yoga and get some stretching and exercising out that way. In fact, as long as it involves getting out of my work clothes I'm good. But then we eat dinner, I'm full, baby is full of crazy energy and pounding my internal organs like no other. And after literally getting beat up from the inside all day, my body has kind of had enough by this point and is sore and just wants to relax. Oh how this kid hates to relax and sit still! These are really the only times that the kicks and punches actually hurt and I may or may not plead with him to please lay still for a minute so I don't barf our dinner all over the couch. Sometimes I moan and whine to Chad (or most recently Momma and Tracy when they spent the week here). One night me and the baby even got to gross Auntie Tracy out quite a bit when she had her hand on my belly and she felt a whole leg go across it and then a foot poke out on my side. She had to pull her hand away because it gave her the chills and kind of made her wanna gag. That was fun. But seriously, I very much enjoyed that.

I may make it sound like I'm complaining about all of this movement, so I should backtrack here. I absolutely love it. Chad likes to remind me of this when I'm moaning and whining around about a foot jabbing me in my right side (ALWAYSSSS my right side...that's where his feet like to hang out). "Don't act like you don't love it," he says. Because I do. I think this kid knows me so well already that he knew I would freak out that something was wrong if I wasn't constantly feeling movement in there. I haven't had one moment that I've considered calling the doctor because I'm not feeling enough. Books and online articles will tell you around 28 weeks you should monitor "kick counts," making sure you feel at least 10 movements an hour during baby's active time. Because I feel so much going on in there throughout the whole day, I've never once even thought about counting. (Knock on wood for that continuing!) So thank you for that little baby...I really appreciate you movin' and shakin' so much for your momma. :)

Speaking of shaking.....let's talk about the hiccups. Oh boyyyy does baby get the hiccups! If I had to give it an average...I probably feel the baby with hiccups about 5 times a day. It's pretty cute and I can't even see him with them yet. Even though my books tell me that hiccups don't bother a baby in the womb or even a baby outside of the womb....I have a feeling this one isn't a huge fan. Hiccups in there usually lead to a lot of movement. I imagine in my head that they annoy him more than anything because he gets them so much so he has to move around and adjust himself to get comfortable. I'm interested to see if the baby gets them as much on the outside as he did on the inside!

Now I leave you with a couple of fun things! Starting at 33 weeks Chad and I started doing a frontal prego belly pic. Mostly because we took the one below, freaked out at how crazy it looked, then thought it was fun to see how it's changing each week. I look at those pictures and think...seriously? How is it possible my belly looks like that? I know I see myself in a mirror every day but to see it in a picture is somehow different. And it makes me giggle. Because I'm really real life pregnant and that's just silly. Silly awesome.

33 week frontal. Whoa. Just whoa.

Remember those hiccups I was telling you about? Here is a little video I took one day of them. Can't you just imagine a sweet little baby making tiny little hiccup noises every time you see my belly jump? :)

And one more video I took today (July 12th - so at 36 weeks). Don't be confused by the background noise...I was at work at the time and a coworker was on a conference call speaking Hebrew. 

It gets really exciting around the :30 second mark. :) Enjoy!

We're getting so close to meeting you Baby J! Your mommy and daddy love you SO much and are SO proud of all that growing you're doing in there!!

xo,

Baby Momma

25 weeks - "Donald Trump is a pervert" and other 100% true facts.

25 weeks!

Dern...I'm 2 weeks behind!

I've recently noticed a trend in my weekly pictures........I never have the same hair! I was looking through a lot of them and seeing how much my belly (ie sweet baby) has been growing. I definitely feel like we have done some serious growing over the past 4 weeks! I don't post them, but every week we also take a "topless" pic too (not completely topless, I have a sports bra on you sicko!) You can see my belly changing even more in those. Maybe towards the end of the pregnancy I'll make a little video for those.....

Week 25 has come and gone two weeks ago now so let me think back to that week...
Chad was out of town for the weekend at a friend's bachelor party so I had the house to myself. I usually don't sleep well when he's gone and wasn't really looking forward to the empty bed........but holy crapsack. Turns out my pregnant self doesn't mind the bed to myself at all! I'm usually a pretty heavy sleeper but since my belly has started growing and putting pressure on places I'm not used to, I find myself waking up a lot. And when Chad even thinks about moving during the night to roll over or whatever, I wake up. After the first night alone, I found myself waking up the next morning really excited about going to bed later that night. It was such good sleep all weekend! haha. Sorry honey, I still love sleeping with you and was glad to have you back several nights later.....just be happy for me that I slept so well while you were gone. :)

Also the last weekend in April was two of my favorite guy's birthdays. Chad turned 28 and my dad turned (an undisclosed number.) :) Since I didn't get to hang out with either one on their birthday, I celebrated by going to a spa and getting a facial. I had a really good day. I took the train about 20 minutes north to the salon, got my facial, and was strolling along the downtown area when realized I missed the train home that I meant to take. And what do I find by the train station when I need to kill an hour during lunch time? An adorable Italian restaurant with outdoor seating and it was a beautiful day outside. Yes please. I would have loved a glass of white wine with my yummy shrimp pasta while sitting outside people watching basking in the sun.....but hey, "beggars can't be choosers" and "people who are making humans who have a great alone time day can't be complaining when they got a facial and their swollen sausage feet just got a rubdown." I feel like that's a saying, right? I should have known how awesome that day was going to be when I made a "friend" on the train there who plopped down in the seat next to me and I had the most interesting conversation I've had in a while. Well I use the word 'conversation' loosely because it was mostly him asking me the most random questions and telling me the most random things. Here are some of the things my friend had to say:

(one of the first things he said to me)
Friend: Do you know who Donald Trump is? You know, the guy on The Apprentice show and owns the hotels and stuff?
Me: Yeah.
Friend: Did you know he also owns the Miss Universe Pageant?
Me: Yes, I knew that.
Friend: He's such a pervert.
Me: (laughing)
Friend: He really is. I tell him that all the time. I should ask him for some money. He's my cousin.
(I should also mention here that this is a Hispanic man in his 50s, smells like he's been drinking since last Tuesday, sounded like he was near a heart attack, and carrying a pint of Vodka in his back pocket. Did I mention I'm on a 10am train?)

Friend: Do you think there's a law saying you have to wear a flower in your hair when you go to San Francisco?
Me: Ummmmmm.....no, I don't think so.
Friend: Well there should be.

Friend: You ever watch Three's Company?
Me: Yeah I used to watch that show all the time.
Friend: Jack is such an asshole.
Me: Alright.
Friend: What about Jeopardy? You watch that?
Me: Not really.
Friend: Well if you did you'd know what a jerk Alex is too.

Friend: (after seeing my protruding belly) Oh, you're pregnant?
Me: Yes.
Friend: You're never gonna believe this. (long pause and looks around to make sure no one else hears) I am too. So we have that in common.
Me: Oh alright. That's cool.

15 seconds later.....
Friend: Remember when I told you I was pregnant a long time ago?
Me: Yes.....
Friend: I was lying. I don't know why I told you that.

He left to go make new friends before I got off. I made eye contact with the girl across the aisle from me and we just started cracking up. She tells me "sorry, I know he didn't smell good and that probably wasn't very fun for you but that was awesome." Yes, yes it was.

I love riding the train.

Today is a good day. A very good day. (Part 2)

....picking up where I left off on yesterday's post....

11/29/11

At 6:53am that beautiful little digital test went from a timer display to "Pregnant" in about 2 minutes.

It was kind of funny that my first reaction after seeing it was not to freak out....I just said, "No I'm not." I even said it out loud. I kept looking at the test waiting for the "Not" to show up before the 2nd word. I've taken a digital test like that before and I know that the 2 words ('Not' and 'Pregnant') show up together....but for some reason I was so shocked by only seeing 1 word that I couldn't even believe it. So I sat and waited for what seemed like forever (but probably 30 seconds max) waiting for "Not" to show up....but it never did.

I don't get it...where is the 'Not'?

Then I just kept looking at the test, looking at myself in the mirror smiling like a goofball, looking at the test, looking at myself in the mirror smiling like a goofball. I went back and forth like this for a while. I silently danced and screamed in the bathroom while Chad sat working on his computer in the next room.

Evidence of my "smiling like a goofball." Please excuse my bedhead...it was 6:53am people.

I took a shower and went about my normal morning routine. I had a few more dance parties while in the shower and had my first "conversation" with my belly. :) Once out of the shower, I tried super hard to play it cool and act normal to Chad. I don't think he picked up on anything...but I absolutely could not look him in the eyes. I just knew he would figure me out if he looked hard enough. Plus...it's impossible for me to lie to him when I see his eyes so I had to avoid them. I most definitely had an extra pep in my step this morning so I tried toning it down in front of him. I know what you're thinking "Whaaaat?! You didn't tell him right away?! You're the devil!!!" I knew I want to tell Chad in a special way and because we were both leaving for work so soon...I didn't want to rush it. And I knew he had a day full of meetings and would have a lot on his mind today...so I'll steal his full attention tonight. Then we can talk about it for as long as we want, rather than have to rush out the door. Plus....he got to take me off guard when he proposed, this gets to be my surprise for him. :) He's going to be SO excited. He might even do his little girl scream that I love so much. I cannot WAIT to see the look on his face.

I was about 15 minutes late to work this morning because I just couldn't really focus on anything I needed to do without dazing off into space thinking about how awesome all of this is. There is an extra brightness in my face and eyes that even I can see in the mirror...and no, I don't think I have the "pregnancy glow" thing going on.... :) the cause of this is absolute and complete happiness. In fact I can't even remember the last time I felt this happy. Oh wait...yes I do...I felt this same way on June 12th, 2010. :)

To the baby that is growing inside of me- (Sidenote: Holy crap sack that's weird.) Please know that I love you already. I have wanted you my entire life. I hope you can feel the love I'm sending to you every second of every day from now on.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Thanksgiving fun!

I know Thanksgiving was a couple of weeks ago now.... But I thought I'd share a few pictures from the holiday! (If you think this is late...I still have Halloween party pics and my parents' visit in October to share with you....)

As I said....we went down to SoCal for the holiday to spend it with the Dutton/Johansen crew. It was such a great weekend!! After battling some fun traffic in the Bay area after work...we made it to their house around 11pm and joined Scott, Connie, Scotty, Donna, and Ryan in the backyard around the fire pit. It's probably my favorite place to hang out at their house. I love sitting out there talking and drinking wine or hot tea. The floor by the fireplace in their garden room takes a close second though...great naps have been had there. :)

Anyway.....we had dinner around 4pm at Aunt Holly's house. We all did some cooking and everything turned out amazzzzing. Yummy it was good. After eating myself nearly miserable....Rachel brought out her pies. Oh man that apple pie was good. After I finished the ginormous piece Rachel cut for me, I kind of hated my life I was very full. Totally worth it. But I should mention here (because maybe he'll read this....) Kevin actually made the yummy apple pie I ate. Very impressive, he even braided (is that what you call it?) the crust on top and made it pretty. You might have some baking competition Rach.....it was that good. :)

This picture was not taken on Thanksgiving...but the week before at Michelle's baby shower, and it's cute so I'm putting it on here. :)

Kevin and Rachel

This picture makes me laugh...Donna's bein' a creeper.

Well isn't that precious.

Dut looks excited.

Mounds and mounds of food....

Chad and Connie :)

Yes Olivia and Zoie ate outside, while going back and forth from the hot tub. :)

I took a nap that night then got up with 3 other crazies to do some Black Friday midnight shopping. Donna, Rachel, Nicole, and I got to Macy's around 12:30am with 43,856,382,298 other peole. It was absolute madness. We were way out of our league for the first hour that we were there. I was not prepared for the amount of people I would have to be in close quarters with. Families of 10+ people were there together buying mounds of pots and pans and boots. Employees in the shoe department were literally wet with sweat...dripping on the size 7.5 leather boots the 589th person asked them to get. Infants and toddlers were there with their crazy ass parents. Now this one bothered me.... Seeing 2 year olds rubbing their eyes and looking miserable while their parents ran around like crazy people. For real? Someone stay home with the freakin' kid while the other acts like a crazy person in Macy's at 3am. Luckily...some stores inside the mall were open too so we left Macy's for a while and when we came back it had died down a lot and we were able to breathe once again. Target and Toys R Us came after that. Then bed. At 6am.
Here is the only picture I managed to snap on my phone while in Macy's during the madness....

So.many.people.

Chad and I went out with some friends Friday night to our favorite little place and listened to our friend Matt sing. Of course he humored us by playing our song...Don't Stop Believin. I of course tried kissing Dave on the mouth and grab Matt's junk while on stage...both to no avail. And in case you're wondering...no, I wasn't drunk those are just the things I try to do to my husband's friends. Duh.
I didn't take any pictures that night but for your entertainment...here are a few pictures of me harassing Dave.

He never wants to kiss me. :(

Prom pic.

"Go ahead....rest your head on momma's bosom."

Saturday we spent the morning walking around the OC Swap Meet....I love that place. It was like 80 degrees that afternoon. Maybe it's because I grew up in the midwest....but that shit is WEIRD in November. Not that I'm complaining...it was awesome. :) And that night the whole family got together and walked around a neighborhood along the water in Newport Beach. Lots of houses had their lights up and even the ones who didn't had huge windows and lights on in the house so we could peek in their beautiful beach mansions. Don't mind if I do. :)

All together! Dutton/Johansen/Gillette crew :)

Autumn kept hiding and jumping out and scaring everyone...it was cute.

Good one!

Teehee...so cute. :)

Sunday we ate breakfast with the parents and headed over to the Laukat's to see friends before heading out. Well, that and there was football on so of course Chad needed to watch for an hour. I got some much needed kid/baby time with McKenna, Bella, and Ryan and then heard the greatest news ever from the Weaver's! Their baby girl got the all clear to head home from the hospital the following day! This little girl has had quite the journey so far. Allie is such a little fighter...coming into this world 13 weeks early and getting to go home with Mom and Dad 4 months later. And I can't imagine the ups and downs Mommy and Daddy Weaver have felt too. I think about their strength and courage a lot. :)
I only took one picture that day, so I added some sweet ones that I already had of those cute kids I was telling you about.....

McKenna cracks me up.

Bella....that smile. :)

Allie....growing so fast now!! Look at those sweet eyes! Can't wait to meet her! :)

Auntie Brooke is in her happy place in this picture.

Ryan....he hurts my heart he's so cute.

The drive home was pretty uneventful. Especially for me considering I slept nearly the entire way home! Hey, I had to catch up on my sleep from that crazy Black Friday!! Hope everyone had a great holiday too!!

6 days until we're in Missouri for Christmas!!!! xoxo

Then we spelunked. (part 2 of 3)

Click here to read about our Sequoia National Park Adventure Part 1.

I left off around the time we were leaving our hike and driving to Crystal Cave. It's about a 45 minute drive off the beaten path to get to the cave. You drive down a crazy twisty beautiful road to get there. (Really, all of the roads in the park are like this...so awesome with all the big trees around you.) When we got there we put our cooler and snacks (I baked lots of goodies for Billy) in the bear containers and got changed.

Sidenote: There are bear containers are in every parking lot in the park so you can keep your food safe, your car safe, and Yogi Bear safe from trying to get a little "pic-a-nic basket" lunch. :)

So we change into some old warm clothes that we can "get muddy" like Billy said and hike down about 15 minutes to the entrance of the cave. There we meet Billy and exchange some "hey you're really here and we found each other!" We are also there with 48 other people for his cave tour. The tour lasted an hour or so and it was fun to see Billy in action on the job. To say he knows his stuff is a complete understatement. If you don't believe me....read this article the LA Times wrote about him.

Pretty hike down to the cave entrance. Notice "stay on trail" sign (because there are likely rattlesnakes everywhere around here)....no problem, I will not be stepping a little toe off this trail.

Pretty waterfall outside the cave entrance. Because where there's a cave there's always ____. (Answer: flowing water) See, I did listen to my tour guide. :)

Where Crystal Cave gets its name...

oh so pretty.

I just love this one.

If you aren't learning on Billy's tour....you aren't listening.

Billy-boy (yes, his beard is as majestic in person as it looks in this picture)

We were the last tour of the day so after he finished up with the last of the visitors who wanted a picture with their cave guide (cute), we got to hang out down there just the 3 of us. He asked if we wanted our "special tour." Of course we want our special tour! Let's do this! Wild caving...psssh...we got this. Chad and I have been in caves before (walking tours) and don't feel any weird-ness or claustrophobia in them so it seems easy enough, right? :) Billy pulls out a box with all of our needed equipment: caving gloves, knee pads, elbow pads, and helmets with a light. Alright...so this is what "wild caving" means...so we really are gonna get a little dirty tonight. The rest of the 48 visitors and other 2 employees were gone, the sun was setting, the electricity power was off, and we were heading in....

We walked on the path in the cave for a while and arrived at a section where Billy says "okay, we're just going to drop into this hole now." "I'm sorry, I thought you just said 'hole.' What was that now?" So we follow him in...Billy leading the way, me following, and Chad pulling up the rear. I'm not kidding you the VERY FIRST step we take in our "wild caving tour" I wipe out. Not just a little slip....like legs went flying out from underneath me and I fell real hard on my ass/side. Awesome. No big deal, brush myself off, we all have a laugh about it, Billy makes me feel better by saying he's slipped on that rock before too, and we move on. We're squeezing in between some rocks and every now and then crawling through holes made by rocks on top of each other. I have pretty much zero sense of direction in the real world. In the caving world...I have even LESS of a sense of where I am, where we came from, where we should go. During the first hour or so of caving, I am repressing those thoughts of "I have NO idea how we got to where we are right now" "I have even LESS of a clue how I would get myself out if I had to" and "My life and my husband's life are seriously in the hands of Billy right now." Billy is a person I absolutely trust my (and Chad's) life with although I didn't realize before going in that we would be placing that trust in him. Then we get to a spot where Billy tells us "okay now we're going into our first really tight spot." Wait a minute, what we've been crawling and squeezing through hasn't been considered tight spots? Oh boy.

Billy goes first into a hole with what I can only describe to you as the size of a small trash can. But it doesn't get any bigger once you get in that trash can. To give you a physical sense of how we were in there....I was laying flat on my stomach and because my shoulders and arms are small enough, I was able to have them stretched in front of me and I was pushing myself along with my toes while pulling with my fingers. Chad was behind me laying flat on his stomach with his arms down by his side because his shoulders were too big to have them in front. There was not enough room to bend your legs or arms. And there was not enough room with the helmet on to have your head lifted looking up...you had to keep your head down and sideways in order to fit. Yeah, you're probably breathing a little harder now. THAT'S how tight it was.

Billy is a ridiculously flexible dude (the guy makes yoga poses look like a joke) and super comfortable moving his body in a cave. Around the time Chad and I are both fully in this "first really tight spot" I turn my head sideways to look in front of me (remember, because it's too tight to just lift my head up) and realize not only can I not see Billy's feet in front of me but I also see 2 paths to choose from. One hole drops down to the right or I can keep going straight. Well I'm not going anywhere until I know which way Billy went because if I go the wrong way there might not be a spot I can fit to turn around and if it comes to backing up in this hole....I have no idea how I'd do that either. And I would be lost forever if Billy couldn't find me, I'd never get us out of there. So I stop moving and say, "Hey Billy, which way did you go?" No answer. "Billy, where are you?" Nothing. By this time Chad's head is right by my feet and he's not moving because there is no where for him to go. So he says, "What's going on? You gotta move." "Well I can't move because I don't know which way he went and I can't see him." So Chad gives it a shot. "Billy which way did you go, straight or in the hole on the right?" Nothing but the sound of stalactites being formed. Remember how I've been repressing those thoughts of our lives being in Billy's hands? Well there was no stopping those thoughts now. Combine that with fact of not seeing/hearing him (did he think I could keep up? Is he playing a joke?/hurt?/dead?), being a hike away from our car once OUTSIDE of the cave, zero cell service once we reach our phones in our car, an hour's drive from any other people, AND being 45 minutes of crawling and contorting our bodies inside this cave that we're seeming to pick random holes inside of random holes to climb in all under the earth's surface....and that leads us to the closest thing I've ever came to a panic attack.

But I don't say this out loud to Chad. In fact I don't say or do anything at all...I just lay still in that tight little space, put my head down, and take deep breaths. And also think to myself about how there won't even be bodies at our funeral because they'll never find them. I was sure Chad had everything under control in his head so it was going to be okay that I was freaking out in mine. Then he asks me (with a tiny hint of freak out in his voice) "Can you see a spot in front of you where we'll have enough room to at least get on our hands and knees?" I turn my head and look...nope, as far as my light will reach ahead of me I just see more tight space. So I say to him "Please just don't ask me that." Then Chad yells for Billy again, and I mean really.yells.for.Billy. Billy hearing the panic in Chad's voice realizes that the joke he was playing by going ahead so he could wrap back around and scare us won't be too funny anymore. But he also knows what it will sound like if answered us....he'll sound really far away. So as he is making his way closer to us so he can answer and let us know that everything is okay and we're not going to die in there...Chad is keeping to himself but also having a minor panic attack. What seems like years later...(but probably 4.5 seconds)...Billy voice comes from somewhere behind Chad and says everything is okay and to calm down and breathe. I tell him I'm not moving (and therefore Chad can't move) until I can see him and I know for sure which way I should go. I get lost in the Target parking lot sometimes...I will most definitely be lost in here for all eternity. After figuring out where we are, he tells us to keep going straight. I tell him to get the hell back in front of me like he's supposed to be. :) We continue on and make it out of that section alive.

You should also know that when I say "make it out" what I actually mean is that the space that was the size of a trash can now opens up to a space the size of a large car trunk. You're still scrunched down like Johnny Bench moving like a crab but you no longer have to be laying flat with your head in the ground scooting yourself along with your toes. The crab walk feels pretty amazing in comparison.

Sometimes we come into spots where there is room for all 3 of us to stop and be there together and other times we even make it to a place where we can stand and contort our bodies to spunk through the cave. Other times you are basically rock climbing and strategizing on how and where your next step will be while you're looking at a 40 foot drop below you. Billy taught us you should always have three points of contact on the rocks. This is because if one of the three doesn't end up working out...you won't fall to your death between the rocks and the endless darkness you see between them. I found my butt to be the most useful.....butt on one rock and a hand and a foot on another. Sometimes you don't have a rock to step on to get to where you're going, so you have to keep your butt stuck to one rock and shimmy while holding your weight in your arms. Caving is an excellent workout. Especially the parts when you feel like the walls are coming down on you and have a small panic attack. Really keeps your heart rate up.

After spelunking around for a while we started to get a little more comfortable with the space (or lack there of) and moving our bodies down there. Dare I say we were actually having fun! It was a huge rush to be down there....with no one else around us for miles, in a place where most people can't even imagine going, and to see things few people will get the chance to see. It was a really beautiful thing to think about what we were climbing and crawling among was all below the earth's surface and completely naturally made by the earth itself. And a really crazy feeling to know that it was formed by water and shifting of rocks. (Although not as beautiful of a thought...it also makes you think, what is stopping it from changing right now while I'm in this tight little spot? Could water rush through or the rocks shift a little lower to crush my ribcage? But it's better if you keep those thoughts out.)

At some point we realize we left Billy's camera outside the cave. Well you know the phrase "pics or didn't happen," right? Chad and I needed pictures of this. We already came to terms with the fact that it was the craziest thing we've ever done and we definitely wanted pictures of us doing it. After a couple of hours of spelunking, we head back out of the cave only to grab the camera and head back in. I'm not kidding you....about 10 moves (I say moves because they weren't steps...we slid, crawled, scaled, and climbed) into the 2nd cave tour I started thinking "wait a minute I got out alive the first time, why didn't I stay out?" At some point I started having fun with it again. This time we were spelunking to a particular place and I was excited about seeing it. Billy took pictures of our route there and when we were in tough spots I kept telling myself it was going to be worth it once we got there. And it definitely was. We made it to Solstice Lake which is a natural cave lake at eye level. You can see in the water and down through the cave as far as your head light will go. It was very cool seeing it and thinking about how maybe 100s (or 1,000s?) of years from now it could be empty of water and a tour-able part of the cave. Maybe someone in the year 3011 will be sitting at that exact spot saying "1000 years ago this was the furthest you could go in this cave" and then they'll continue on where there once was water. Cool to think about.

We also had a "lights out" moment. We got in a comfortable position so we wouldn't be rustling and turned out our head lights and sat in the quiet of the cave for about 5 minutes. The cave really starts to come alive when you're just listening to it and not seeing ANYTHING. There is noise that you didn't hear when your lights were on. Calcium dripping from the cave roof falling into the water where you know it's forming stalagmites. Even the nothingness seems to make noise. And obviously there is NO light...think of the darkest room you've ever been in and multiply it by infinity. While sitting there I liked to squeeze my eyes shut as hard as I could and then open them to no change whatsoever.

Okay, wow. I have rambled on WAY too long. Thank you for still reading...if in fact anyone actually made it through all that. :) I just really want to remember that experience forever.

Pictures don't do our adventure justice but here they are! Keep in mind you can only take pictures when there is enough room for the photographer (Billy) to get his camera out of the case and turn his body enough to snap a photo. So it's just not possible to capture a really tight squeeze while you're completely in it and the flash obviously lights a lot more than what we were seeing down there. But I think you can get the idea....

Remember...all of these pictures are taken on our 2nd trip back in (post panic attack) so we're looking a LOT more relaxed and confident in the pics and smiling a lot. Mostly because we're feeling very alive. :)

You'll see a lot of "orbs" in all the pictures. Apparently it's really hard to take good pictures in caves...obviously because of the lack of lighting but also because it's really damp and dusty down there.

Billy teaching us about rock formations.

Hard to explain the next series of pictures but we're laying flat on our stomachs up there and have to get down a narrow path below the shelf that we're laying on. If you do it "right" you go from laying on your stomach to laying on your back under the shelf we were just on.

Trying to figure out just how I'm going to get down there...

Hmm...I don't think my butt is going to make it through this narrow path.

Nope, butt didn't fit so had to figure it out going sideways. 

Chad's turn. Clearly he is excited.

You can see a lot better in this picture to where exactly we're ending up once under the shelf.

Haha, this looks super awkward but he did it right and made it down there like a spelunking pro! 

He managed to untangle his limbs.

Underneath the shelf before going into another random hole under there. Craziness.

Rock climbing underground.

Very cool formation.

Billy said it's called 'cave popcorn' but I already forgot the technical term.

Out.of.breath.

Trying to wiggle my hips through a small opening.

I had no idea practicing yoga would be so useful to me while caving! (especially the deep breathing/meditation part...)

Chad waiting patiently for me to get my butt through...

You can see better from this picture where we were coming from. Just a small path we were laying in pushing with our toes to move through. Then you gotta get your hips through the opening. 

Chad working on pushing himself through.

Almost there....

Made it. I think he's pretty excited to be in a space big enough to crawl right now. :)

Crawling/rockclimbing

Looking a little nervous in this picture....

This is my "what the hell am I doing down here" face

Concentrating...

Going to my happy place....

I think I said something like "please let me lay here and rest a minute"

And Chad is probably saying "no resting, move out of my way I'm stuck in a small space back here."

I swear that "hole" we're coming out of is a lot smaller than it looks in this picture.

You know when Chad has to wiggle to get his butt through something that it is INDEED a small hole.

Concentrating and going to his happy place.

All smiles once we're through!

Looks like he's coming straight out from under a rock here. Which is in fact exactly what he's doing.

Chad's "what the hell are we doing down here" face.

This spot was interesting. We're heading in the direction of the camera and there's a small ledge we have to cross to get there. There's a 40 foot drop in front of us and a rock pushing on us from behind. 

So you can't sit up straight...you have to lean over the drop to hold the rock on the other side for balance.

All while scooting your knees across the other side and trying not to fall to your death. :)

(at the front of the visitor entrance) "We're alive!! We made it!" 

Thank you Billy for a night we will never forget! 

Solstice Lake

xo