Shay is 1 month old!

Our little lady is 1 month old today!

Man she's growing so fast. These past 31 days have been incredible. Crazy. Awesome. Exhausting. Emotional. Fun. But most of all this past month has been so full of LOVE!!!

I feel like every morning I wake up to a new baby. Her face and little body change so much each day! She's getting heavier and longer and gaining more control of her neck, arms, and legs. She loves holding her own head up when you hold her on your shoulder. I kind of feel like she shows off about it. She holds it up and looks around at people and the world like she's saying "yeah I'm holding my head up myself, no big deal." Her little face is looking less newborn-ish. She's starting to make noises besides her little cry. She smiles at people on purpose now...and not just involuntary gas smiles. (Evidence of that in the video I posted below!) We're really getting to know her, her schedule, her cries, and her personality. Granted, this is the only baby I've ever had to compare to but she is such a good baby. She's really laid back, LOVES to cuddle and be held close, sleeps and eats like a champion, and really likes it when you put your head against hers and tell her "secrets" by whispering in her ear. Sigh....we are so in love. She is just perfect.

My momma (Shaylyn's MeMe) arrived in California July 27th to be here for her birth. She just left on Wednesday so it's been our first couple of days just Shay and myself at home. Oh man...I could write a whole post on how much my momma has helped us around here for the past month. Physically she did all of the things Chad and I didn't want to do/think about when we got home with Shay. Planned meals and made sure we ate, cooked, cleaned, did laundry, held a crying Shaylyn while we took a break (or more than likely ate), watched a sleeping Shaylyn while I took a nap alone in my room, picked her up and gave her to me when my incision was hurting, made sure I put my feet up when we got home from the hospital in order for the swelling to go down (seriously the amount of swelling I had was really ridiculous, more on that in other post), and tons of other stuff that I can't begin to name everything here. Emotionally she did just as much for me...it was great to have her around to provide advice and momma help. I loved just having her here and getting to spend so much time with her. And more than anything I loved seeing her with Shay. Oh it just hurt my heart to see them together and MeMe so in love with my little girl!

31 days ago I also gained a new respect and perspective on my own parents. Of course they've always told me they love me throughout my life...but I don't think I really understood how much and just what that kind of love meant until Shaylyn came along. So to my own Momma and Dad...thank you for loving me and my sisters so much. I get it. And I love you too. :)

A few days after Shay came home from the NICU, she had her first checkup with her pediatrician.  She weighed in at 7 pounds 7 ounces and grew 1/4 of an inch since birth. Her doctor was very impressed with her growth and told us we were both doing great breastfeeding. She couldn't get over how great Shaylyn looked. :)

Good news continued today at her 1 month checkup, doctor said she looked like a perfectly healthy and happy baby....here are her stats!
9 pounds 4 ounces (50th percentile)
21 3/4 inches long (75th percentile)

Shaylyn,

Goodness lady I just love you to pieces. It seriously hurts my heart.

Fact: The other day you were sleeping on my chest while I was watching tv. I was smelling your beautiful baby smell and feeling the weight of you on my body. Cue tears. I'm pretty sure they just came on because my heart was so full my eyes just overflowed with love.

I would say I spent 9 months waiting for you but I actually feel like you've been a part of me my whole life. You just decided to show your face 31 days ago.

Thank you for making me a mother. Just like your daddy, you make me want to be a better person. You take that to a whole new level, girl. And I will be a better person because of you. Speaking of your daddy, thank you for taking our love and marriage to a new height also. When you were born and my heart grew, it grew for your dad too. I didn't know I could love him more, but that was before I knew how much love I could give. Seeing the two of you together makes me feel so complete. And the way his eyes look when he's staring down at you...matches exactly what my heart feels too.

Well, that's all for now. You're sleeping next to me and I need to snuggle and smell you. :)

Love you for always and ever,
Mommy

It's a.......GIRL!!!

Shaylyn Kennedy Johansen was born August 7th, 2012 at 3:55pm!

6 pounds 15 ounces

21.5 inches long

Oh boy is there a lot to write about between the hours of 1:00am August 6th and 3:55pm August 7th! Not to mention the minutes, hours, days, and now weeks that have gone by since then!!

Chad and I plan to sit down and write out her birth story sometime soon but we just haven't got the chance to do it yet. Actually, that's kind of a lie. We have probably had the chance to do it, but it's such an emotional thing for us to think about that we've been putting it off. Because I was in labor for so long and so much happened during that time and then after she was born, there were holes in both our stories of things that went on and what we each experienced. We sat down for about an hour one morning when we were still in the hospital and talked through everything that happened. I don't remember the last time I cried that hard. Especially for it being deliriously happy and sad tears at the same time. Anyway, it's important to me that we write it down when it's still "fresh" so we can remember everything and look back on it down the road. I think it will also be pretty cool for Shaylyn to hear some day too. Hear about how dramatic she was even when she came into the world and maybe if she hears how rough she was on her parents during those first few minutes/hours/days, she'll ease up on us during the teenage years. What do you mean it doesn't work like that? :)

She is such a healthy and happy 2 week old now. And we think she's pretty perfect. Our hearts are completely full having her a part of our lives. We love you so much Shaylyn Kennedy Johansen!!!

xo,
Shaylyn's Mommy

p.s. I just re-read my last post I put on here at 10pm August 5th. Although I didn't know it (even then) but I actually started early labor just 3 hours later. Haha!! Life is funny, huh? :)

38 weeks - Today is my due date.

38 weeks!

(July 22nd)

It's 9:57pm PST Sunday, August 5th, 2012.

I was supposed to become a mom today. The baby obviously has different plans. It's been an emotional roller coaster of a day. I just remembered this post I wrote back in October last year before I was pregnant. I read it, teared up a little, smiled a little, took a deep breath, and decided I'd write this really quickly and go to bed.

I kind of feel like I've been pregnant for an eternity but at the same time I feel like I just saw that beautiful little digital word "Pregnant" just yesterday. It's a weird thing. Whew, all of these swarming thoughts have made for a long emotionally and physically exhausting day.

Here's to another day I get to carry this baby in my belly before he/she comes out and changes the world. (At least my world....)

Excerpt from what I wrote on October 12th, 2011:
"Maybe you're pregnant right now and barfing all over the place (your sense of smell is already ridiculous so I can't imagine what that's like when it's heightened)....just remember how excited me and Chad would be to know that we were going to have a baby in less than 9 months. 
Maybe you're in the week of your due date and miserably waddling around feeling like a beached whale (and I'm guessing feeling a little anxious about going into labor)....just remember how your non pregnant self is sitting here right now daydreaming about what it would be like to feel our baby kick from the inside. You're so close to being able to see our baby's face, you can do it! And try not to feel too anxious...Chad will be there with you and he always seems to know how to make us feel better. Not to mention all of the awesome people I know you'll have in that waiting room......If you weren't about to push a human out of your vagina, I would feel more sorry for the hospital staff. :) 
Maybe you're getting impatient on a wait list for an adoption.....remember that your kid is out there in this world somewhere and the universe is just waiting for the timing to be right. (We both know how important timing is.) And it when the timing is right...it will be perfect."

xo,
Brooke

30 Weeks - Maternity Pictures

30 weeks! 

(May 27th)

In an attempt to catch up on my weeks and the fact that I have so many pictures that this blog will be long enough on its own.......I'm keeping my words to a minimum here and instead posting a bunch of my favorite maternity pictures we took during 29-30 weeks. My sister Amy is super awesome, real creative, (and has a really nice camera) and took all these pictures for us while we were in Missouri. I can't wait to see the pictures she takes some day of our little nug-face. :)

Would you believe me if I told you we took so many that I didn't even post ALL of them below? Good thing I got a pretty good discount with the photographer! :)
Some of my favorites of the favorites I made bigger.........

We have wedding pictures taken in this same exact spot at my parents' house just 2 years ago.... :)

Dear baby in my belly,
It's okay with me if you have the adorable dimple on your cheek like your daddy has. It melts my heart. :)
Love,
Your Mommy

Sitting in my favorite chair on the porch. :)

Cali needed some camera time too. 

See the carve out in the wood? It says 'C+B 6-12-10' Chad did that the morning of our wedding day since we were supposed to get married on that exact spot. Turns out mother nature had a better idea and we ended up getting married in my dad's barn but it was all perfect just the same. :) I still love seeing this carved on the bridge.

I really love this picture but I made it big so I could point out to you the large vein protruding from my forehead. :) You can't really tell but the bridge is at a downward angle here so all the blood (and apparently you have an extra amount of it when your pregnant!) was rushing to my head. I kinda felt like I was gonna pass out while taking this picture so it didn't last long. But I can't help but wonder....Does that little vein pop out when I'm angry? Will Baby Jo see that vein some day as a sign to stop what he's doing and get his act together before Momma freaks out? 

Chad was fishing with Tracy and Ashley in between pictures.....caught one!

I've had a thing for four leaf clovers for as long as I can remember.  Ever since I was little I've been able to find them everywhere. When I'm looking for them and when I'm just walking along and happen to look down and spot one. My MaMa told me once that her mom was the same way. (Is that a gene you can inherit?) Anyway, my mom planted a bunch of four leaf clovers around the lake where we were supposed to get married. 2 years now and they're still there and growing!

Lucky clovers. :) And I think this baby will be pretty lucky too....surrounded by so much love.

Oh I just love these pictures we took with my MaMa and PaPa. They came to the house while we were taking pictures to water PaPa's tomato plants (he's working on growing the biggest one in the church competition.)

This picture makes so so happy I can't even explain it.

They're so sweet to their great grandbaby already. :)

The coolest great grandparents this side of the Mississippi. Love these two.

Ahhh! Bare belly shot! I love the necklace my BF Melis got for me. (Somewhere on Etsy I believe?) It's a magnetic locket that says "mama" and has a "J" and both Chad and my birthstones in it. Once we find out if baby will have a July or August birthdate...we'll get that one too. :)
Disclaimers: I feel like Amy photoshopped my belly because my LN seems much darker when I look at it in the mirror and you can't see the one that goes up the top of my belly in this picture either. You also can't see the lovely mark above my "used to be pierced before I got pregnant and took it out" belly button because the necklace is strategically hiding it. And lastly, yes these are my regular jeans....no, I never wear them buttoned except in this picture....no, I hadn't bought maternity jeans before we took these pictures but I did the very next day....yes, I had to have some help getting them buttoned....no, I could not breathe while they were buttoned for the whole 10 seconds I had them that way. :)

Cali got a picture so Summer had to have one too. :)

Dear baby in my belly,
I'm so sorry in advance that your parents are so embarrassing. I absolutely love taking awkward family photos and I'm REAL excited about having a third person being involved in those. I can't wait for this year's Christmas card...it will be so much more fun with you in it!
Love Always,
Your Super Awkward Mom

xo,
Brooke

29 weeks - Our trip to Missouri

29 weeks!
(May 20th)

Did you notice the venue change in the bump picture? That's because we were visiting Missouri this week!

We had such a great time visiting family in Missouri. It was so nice to have the whole week there. Usually it gets crazy running from one place to the next...going to see someone here then running straight to the next place to see someone else...then hanging out at my parent's house long enough to pack up our things and head back to the airport. Okay, so it's not really like that on our short trips but it can sometimes feel that way! The longer trips make it much more relaxing and we don't feel rushed to say hi and bye to everyone so quickly. The weather they were having while we were there was awesome! We pretty much spent most of our time outside doing something. I got to go on lots of walks on the trail behind the house with momma and my sisters, I think I went with someone (if not like 5 people) every day. Oh and I can't forget our constant trail companions Summer and Cali, my parents' dogs...you couldn't go on the trail without them if you tried. It's probably one of my favorite things to do there. So nice to get out outside, breathe in some beautiful Missouri fresh air, and chat with my family. It makes me really really happy. :) Apparently I tire out a little easier when I'm carrying around an extra person....I laid down and/or took a short nap after all of our walks every day. It. Was. Glorious. :) Is it just me or is there something really special about napping on your parents' couch in the middle of the day? 


Momma also cooked lots of good food and we got to hit up some of the places I've been craving for a while. Remember my obsession with toasted raviolis and the trouble I was having finding them out here? Well I went straight to the source (the best source that is)....Tonanzio's. Oh mannnnn do they have yummy toasted raviolis! My parents just joined a country club so my dad and Chad golfed their balls off all week. (Their golf balls that is.) I think they went 3-4 different days and played at least 2 rounds every time. 


My awesome sister Amy did a fun maternity shoot with us one night. Coolest sisters in the world Tracy and Amy and my bf Melis threw me a baby shower. Seriously....this shower rocked. There were so many special little things about it!  (Maternity and shower pictures to come.) We fished. We went to a new winery that opened nearby. We drank sweet tea. Chad was spoiled by my mom making breakfast every day. (He's the breakfast maker in our house.) We sat in rocking chairs on the porch. Had a game night with friends. We went to Trops (virgin slushy for me!) and hung out on the patio. (Chad is borderline obsessed with the place.) Chad and I got our butts handed to us by Tracy and Amy and Mom and Dad while playing Pitch. (Card game.) Picked out some pretty flowers for my mom's porch at a greenhouse. Attempted to play with stray barn kitties at my grandparent's barn but couldn't get anywhere near them.....them cats was crazy!! Played fetch in the lake with Summer, Cali, and Girlfriend. Almost peed my pants laughing at the dogs getting everyone wet on the bridge every time they came out of the water. And probably my most favorite thing besides the super awesome baby shower.......I think just about everyone in my whole family got to "meet" the baby! I had a hand on my belly more often than not the entire trip out there. Which didn't bother me any, it was so fun for everyone to get a little "hello" from the baby. She was movin' and shakin' around all over the place and really showing off for her family. :) Of course everyone loved her immediately after the first kick/punch/nudge/roll so I can only imagine what she'll do to them when she's actually out here in this world to dazzle them. (In case you're wondering....yes, the baby is a girl today.)


Oh and I have to tell you about the quote my PaPa said the first time he saw me while we were there. He saw me and the belly in my shirt in all it's glory and laughed, looked at Chad and said "Boy, you sure did mess with her figure." It helps if you imagine this quote from a sweet man in cowboy boots, jeans, and a slow draw like every good ole midwestern boy should have. It was so much awesome I could barely stand it. He is the cutest man alive. Fact. 


I was horrible about taking pictures during our trip out there but I've included the ones I took below. I think I rely on Amy, our family photographer, for any and all pictures when I'm around her. As if it wasn't already assigned to you Amy......you're welcome for giving you that title. :)


It was especially difficult and bittersweet leaving Missouri this trip. I was there during the last few weeks my doctor was comfortable with letting me fly and be so far away from home. It was the last time I would see most of my family before my entire world is changed. The last time they would see just Chad and Brooke and not Chad, Brooke, and ______. We will be a family of 3 next time we go back there. We will be parents to a real human. In just a short time I'll be bringing our 4 month old baby to the house and place I myself grew up. So very overwhelming and surreal to think about. Mix that up with all the hormones pumping through my body and the excitement I have to introduce my son/daughter to all of them some day.....and I cried. A lot. Cried when I said goodbye to each one of them. Crying again right now thinking about it. 


Whew...I gotta hold it together. I get to see my mom and Tracy today!! They're flying in to spend the week here and be here for the baby shower that my sister in law Donna is throwing for me and baby. :) I'm so excited! Our family from Chad's side (the ladies and our sweet niece and nephew) are coming up from Southern California so it will be so fun for everyone to be in one place at one time! Can't wait!!!


A few pictures from our trip...........

Probably took this from the porch with a glass of sweet tea in my hand.

This is Lucky, my mom's horse. She has quite a story. Lucky's mom died while giving birth to her. :( Colts and foals don't typically do well and rarely survive if they lose their mom. It was PaPa's friend's horse and when my mom found out he wasn't going to help the little foal and kind of let nature take it's course so to speak....she couldn't stand it. He gave her the horse, mom named her Lucky, and she bottle fed her back to health. It's a lot of work and you have to feed and give them medicine multiple times a day but mom was determined her Lucky Girl was gonna make it. And she did! Because of all the human interaction she got with my parents early on....Lucky is especially tame and gentle with people. She's so sweet.

Lucky's friends saying hello to us.

I forget this one's name but Chad liked her. I think it was because she's blonde.

We were attempting to feed the fish but it turned into playing fetch in the lake with the dogs. As you can see...there's not much room to move out of the way once the dogs come up to shake off. We all got wet in the process.

Summer and Cali packing in the ball together. Girlfriend (my aunt Betty's dog) looking on, waiting for one of them to lose a grip on it so she could be the one to bring it to us.

Not a bad place to watch a Missouri sunset, huh?

They were really showing off for everyone when we started cheering for them. It was hilarious.

:)

This is actually where Chad and I were supposed to get married.....then it started dumping buckets of rain on June 12th, 2010 and ruined that idea....

So we got hitched in the barn. Which was perfect anyway.

<3

Mom has 2 magnolia trees in the yard that put off the most amazing scent.....sooo pretty!

On a walk

Mom and her dogs on the trail

:)

xo,

Brooke